THE IMPORTANCE OF EATING TOGETHER
We tried as much as possible to eat together. It was apparent to me that eating was much more fun for my folks when we sat together and talked at mealtime. Dad didn't converse much, being sort of a one-track guy. Mom loved to talk. Once in a while, Mom would turn to him and say, "Isn't that right, Joe?" He'd say, "Huh?" I learned to call his name before I spoke to him so I'd be sure to get his attention. And I asked questions that took more than a "yes" or "no" to answer.
Discussion of current events was a problem for Dad so I'd ask questions about his younger days or childhood. Some stories were repeated over and over but we didn't care. At least he was participating. Certain words would trigger a story. For example, if I said the words "hot pepper," he'd launch into a story of his uncle who ate small hot peppers that made his forehead bead with sweat.
After Mom died, it was even more important that Dad not be eating all alone. Only problem was that he would take a very long time to eat. So I sat with him for a while. Then I would get up and start cleaning the kitchen. I made sure he was facing the kitchen when he sat at the table so he could see me and we could still talk.
Dad could not eat a lot at one sitting, so we would give him snacks in between meals like fruit, sorbet, or graham crackers with almond butter.
Stalks, seeds and skins, oh my! Dad had been told as child that if he swallowed seeds, he would get gallstones. Even though he had his gall bladder removed, he expanded his taboo to include stalks of green beans and skins of potatoes. When it came to seeds, he literally spit them out on the carpet. At first, though flabbergasted, I didn't say anything. He's old. He's got a feeble mind. Yada yada yada. But one day I said, "Dad I can't let you spit seeds on the carpet." He was shocked to hear he was doing it. It was an unconscious habit he had developed and that we had encouraged by not questioning it! MORE>
|
|
|
