BEFORE CARE... Open The Dialog
Deal With Dysfunctional Relationships NOW!
I knew that there were a few things from my childhood that I had not discussed with my Dad. For example, one day when we were sitting in his spare bedroom going over some computer issues, I told him I had a story to tell him. I reminded him of the time in Maui when my brother and I were in Junior High. He took us to Apana's junk yard to shop for school clothing... used clothing that other people had thrown away. I knew he did not have a lot of money, but I was mortified. I made a vow that I would buy only the best clothing when I grew up. And I did, even if it meant spending money I didn't have by running up large credit card balances .
He proceeded to tell me how his mom sewed patches on his hand-me-down pants. He shared how it mortified him when she called attention to the nicely sewn patches in front of her friends. He vowed that he would never make his children wear patched up hand-me-downs. But that's exactly what he did. I realized that he knew exactly how I felt. He told me he was sorry for what he did. We hugged. It was a great “Father to Son” moment that I'll treasure always.
That's just one example. I believe it made my job easier to deal with my “demons” BEFORE my parents moved in. I had nothing to resent them for. I had no reason to torture them or retaliate for unresolved conflicts. MORE>
|
|
